Category Archives: Lists

The Liebster Award

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Liebster Award

The Liebster Award is something like Whose Line Is It Anyway?: Everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. My cousin Rachel nominated me after being nominated herself, and I decided to pay it forward, too. It works like this:

Share 11 random facts about yourself
Answer 11 questions given by the person who nominated you
Nominate new bloggers to pass it on
Write 11 question for those bloggers to answer

11 Random Facts:
1. (According to B.) I’m not as afraid of wild animals as I should be.
2. If I ever get pregnant, I don’t want to learn the baby’s gender beforehand. Surprises of that magnitude are such a rarity in life, and I want to savor it.
3. I still haven’t switched to a PA driver’s license because I can’t bring myself to surrender my CA license. If they’d just let me keep my CA license with its cute little bear and Golden Gate bridge, I probably would have done it a year ago.
4. I’ve never liked my name, but I’ve also never been able to think of an alternative name that “fits” me better. Then someone suggested I seem like a Sydney, and he was right. I could definitely be a Sydney. If I wasn’t such a Whitney.
5. Yang is my favorite Grey’s Anatomy doctor.
6. I take my coffee with half & half and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
7. One of the biggest crushes I’ve ever had was on a teacher. Everyone knew, and I’m sure he  probably did, too. It’s so embarrassing to think about now.
8. My favorite genre of both books and movies is historical fiction.
9. Earth is on an hourglass, and I hate that I won’t know how the world ends.
10. I kick ass at writing in-class/timed essays. To test this theory, I pointedly refused to study for the analytical writing section of the GRE.
11. I do my best writing when I’m angry.

11 Questions from Rachel: 
1. What is your favorite book of all time – the book you can read over and over again?
Lolita. Lo-lee-ta. Lo. Lee. Ta.

2. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
Dark chocolate always

3. If you had to listen to one song on repeat for an entire day which song would you choose?
This is a nightmare to even imagine. I prefer silence and if I had to pick one song to listen to ad nauseam, I’d probably stab my eardrums with Q-tips. That said, I’d pick “Nowadays/Hot Honey Rag” from the Chicago soundtrack. I love Chicago. It’s my go-to wedding planning inspiration music.

4. What is your preferred species of flower?
Oriental hybrid lilies, especially the Stargazer, which is of course incredibly toxic to cats

5. If you could live in any city in the United States (you have a job that covers the expenses, blah, blah blah) where would you live?
Well, it’s hard to say because I haven’t been to all the cities, you know? Of the cities I have been to my top three choices are Berkeley, NYC, and Philly, and of those three, Philadelphia wins over NYC by a smidgeon. I have a feeling I’ll really love Boston when I go there, though.

6. What countries make your top 5 travel wish list?
In no particular order: Russia, Spain, France, Morocco, and India

7. What has been your favorite age/year so far? Why?
2012/21-22. It’s been the healthiest, happiest, most adventurous year of my life.

8. What is the best advice you were ever given?
Not everyone deserves forgiveness and sometimes it’s perfectly healthy just to say, “Fuck you,” before moving on.

9. Do you have any special or unique skills? Elaborate.
I am a veritable fount of trivia. I have useless information to proffer for any situation.

10. Be honest, are you going to see the midnight showing of Star Trek in May?
Definitely. Zachary Quinto with those Vulcan ears and eyebrows being so wryly logical gets me all hot and… off the point. 

11. Finish this sentence: “Not a day goes by when I don’t think about _______ .”
college.

11 Questions for My Nominees:
1. American Apparel or Urban Outfitters or H&M?
2. You’ve been magically gifted with all the skills you need for your dream career. What is it?
3. What is the last book you read and absolutely hated?
4. What is your biggest tangible fear (i.e. spiders, needles, etc.)?
5. What would have you chosen if you could have named yourself?
6. Who is your favorite TV character of all time?
7. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve eaten?
8. To which Hogwarts House do you belong?
9. Harvard or Yale? Stanford or Berkeley?
10. Would you rather eat a live cricket or a fresh sea urchin?
11. Capital punishment: yea or nay? 

I nominate:
Julia at Eating Stories Like Grapes
Jessie at Growing Up Grima
Stephanie at Listful Thinking

I Wanna Get Back to My City by the Bay

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When the lights go down in the city
And the sun shines on the bay
Do I wanna be there in my city?

Fog rolling in over the Oakland Hills at Sibley – with Scooter and Blanket
Looking out over the Bay from Hamon Tower – with B.
Waiting for the fireworks to start near Fisherman’s Wharf, July 2009 – with LKP
Walking through the Rose Garden and Golden Gate Park – with B.
Opening Day 2009 at AT&T Park – with J.Lo

I’m feeling homesick for the Bay Area. Naturally, this means browsing through pictures of home and listening to songs about California. Yes, I have a California playlist and no, I don’t have any shame about it.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and even though no one asked, I’ll tell you why: It’s one of the few major holidays that is completely secular. (This blog has been profusely secular lately, hasn’t it? No apologies.) I can’t tell you how much it grates on me when I hear things like, “Jesus is the reason for the season!” or “Keep Christ in Christmas!” I so completely could not care less about Jesus Christ, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like bringing a spider-infested fire hazard into my house, snowy nights, or decorating with pretty lights. But Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving. It’s all the tradition and celebration with absolutely none of the annoying genuflection (physical and otherwise).

I wrote a list of things I am thankful for this year:
1. Snuggling up with NoeCat and Sebastiano to keep them warm
2. Hazelnut coffee and pumpkin bread
3. Plenty of peace and quiet for reading good books
4. New friends here in Philadelphia (especially thankful for this one)
5. My rapist being in jail where he can’t harm anyone else (and this one)
6. My favorite little cousin and the new one on the way
7. President Obama’s reelection
8. Beautiful autumn weather and foliage here in Philadelphia
9. My oldest friends, my family, and my wonderful fiancé

Bad News, Good News

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The Bad News: I shattered my iPhone screen.
The Good News: I shattered my iPhone screen exactly 12 days before my Geek Squad Protection Plan expired and I’m getting a brand new iPhone without having to renew a two-year AT&T contract.

The Bad News: B. and I both really want a puppy.
The Good News: We can’t have a puppy, so at least that’s a little less shit to clean up.

The Bad News: I’m years away from ever having a really satisfying job.
The Good News: I’m interviewing to be a campaign canvasser for Planned Parenthood.

Tangent: I applied to work at an AT&T store and the application actually had the following nearly verbatim agree or disagree statement : “This is my first choice job. I would prefer this position over any other.” How the hell was I supposed to answer this question? If I answered honestly, of course I “strongly disagree” – no job. If I answered dishonestly, they’d know I was a lying, lying liar – also no job. I mean, just please, like I literally cried and cursed my way to my degree because I always wanted to work retail for AT&T. For the record, I answered honestly and subsequently received an e-mail stating the store didn’t have “an appropriate position” for me.

The Bad News: I scalded and blistered my hand with Cup of Noodles.
The Really Bad News: I’m so broke I’m eating Cup of Noodles.

The Great News: B. passed the PA bar and is a minute away from being a bona fide officer of the court.

wmlak

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How am I just now learning about this‽
I love Anna Karenina. It’s my second favorite* novel. I also love Keira Knightley from her portrayal of Elizabeth Bennett in Pride & Prejudice. I haven’t been this excited about a movie since Deathly Hallows, Pt. II.
*Technically, it’s #9 because Harry Potter >; everything else, but I usually omit that because, duh.

Whitney’s 14 Favorite Books
(Because She Just Couldn’t Narrow It Down to Ten)

14. A Separate Peace, John Knowles
13. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
12. Maus, Art Spiegelman
11. The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger
10. Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, Alison Bechdel
9. Sirens of Titan, Kurt Vonnegut
8. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut
7. Pnin, Vladimir Nabokov
6. The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien
5. The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
4. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri
3. A Man Without a Country, Kurt Vonnegut
2. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
1. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

I was going to write the reasons I love each of these novels, but then I realized that you presumably have better things to do than spend an hour reading through effusive explanations.

PS: Congratulations to my uncle, aunt, and cousin! Cousin #2 is on the way. I couldn’t be happier for them.

Did You Miss My Lists?

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Here’s a non-comprehensive list of
Things We Are Definitely Not Discussing:

1. How I went in for a trim and came out with a quarter of my hair missing. I’ve grown it out from chin-length for nearly four years and this dude hacks off a year’s progress in 20 minutes. B. says I look like Lara Croft now, which makes him the third person to say I resemble Angelina Jolie. (Feel free to discuss that last part.)

This is a “before” picture. I’m too pissed to take an “after” picture.

2. My average quantitative reasoning score on the GRE. That word right there is a fighting word.

3. The case. If you don’t know what this means, I’m delighted. If you do know what this means, then you should really shut up about it. If I wanted to talk about it, I would bring it up. You bringing it up is just bad manners.

4. How long it’s been since I last went to a yoga class. 

Now here’s a non-comprehensive list of
Things We Should Totally Talk About:

1. My punishment for ending a statement with a preposition. Lines? Grammar Sets? “The Essay of Pain and Suffering?”

2. In fifth grade, we either went to “Fun Friday” or wrote “The Essay of Pain and Suffering” depending on how “good” we were over the week. You know how many times I went to FF? Once. I basically had the essay memorized.

3. My fantastic GRE verbal reasoning score. 165/170 = 96th percentile. Or my fantastic analytical writing score. 5.5/6 = 96th percentile.

4. The Magicians by Lev Grossman. LKP gave it to me almost two years ago and I’m just now getting around to finishing it. It’s surprisingly droll if you can get over how pretentious it is. You can read my full thoughts about it on my upcoming post for The Canary Review.

One Keg of Beer for the Four of Us!

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As you’re reading this, I’m at the Cal Alumni Association’s Annual Reception for Newly Admitted Students. We alumni are rubbing elbows at the swanky Ritz-Carlton, Philadelphia, and charming admitted high school seniors into choosing Cal. These out-of-staters are worth the big bucks.

Cal Day!

Despite my current animosity toward my alma mater, or perhaps because of it, I’ve composed 16 unsolicited pieces of advice for the Cal Class of 2016:

1. Treat with suspicion and contempt any exam that declares itself “take home.” It’ll be twice as much work as an in-class exam, and you won’t do any better.

2. Don’t buy books from the Cal Student Store. Ned’s is a rip-off, too. Shop online. 

3. Pick a foreign language your first semester and stick to it! If you graduate without fluency in at least one foreign language, your peers will mock you, and you will feel completely inadequate.

4. You may have been the smartest person in your high school, obviously, but you’re still only 18. You’re going to get stupid drunk or stupid stoned or just plain stupid and lose your clothes. Own the shame and move on. 

5. If you plagiarize, there is a good chance your professor will humiliate you in front of a hundred other students. You’ll deserve it, so take it like a (wo)man. No tears.

6. Do not join Berkeley College Republicans. Just please. I’m laughing at you already.

7. No one cares if you’re 20 and still a virgin. No one cares if you’ve slept with 20 people. Just, for the love of Oski, wear a rubber. You can get free condoms all over the place. No excuses. 

8. Someone once got caught jerking it in the stacks during finals season. It’s 80% hilarious, 20% disgusting, and 100% the reason I don’t use library books. You’ve been warned.

9. Do the Bare Run once. It’s the only time the administration won’t arrest you for running through the stacks butt-ass naked. Bonus points if you throw glitter as you go.

10. Take the time to appreciate politically relevant graffiti:

The administration will have it down before you can say, “She’s just working her way through college.”

11. Prepare to do real research. Berkeley is, foremost, a research university. If this doesn’t appeal to you, I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake.

12. Don’t wear anything Stanfurd unless you want people to yell vulgarities at you. Seriously.

13. Talk at least one of your seminar professors into holding class next to Strawberry Creek on a nice day. Jump on the first seminar that sounds interesting. The same topics don’t usually come around twice.

14. Learn the Cal Drinking Song so you’ll be prepared when a spontaneous chorus of “Oh, we had a little party down in Newport!” breaks out.

15. Get to know your professors. You’ll learn that true genius is often quite hilarious, as well.

16. Most importantly, AnonCon.

Love/Hate: Philadelphia

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Three months ago, I left my beloved California for this foreign land called Philly. Everyone asks, “How’s Philadelphia?” and all I can say is, “Oh, it’s… different.” I can’t even muster up the necessary enthusiasm to lie politely and say it’s nice. It’s not all Philadelphia’s fault, though. The truth is that I miss Berkeley so much I think I would hate anywhere else just a bit. Three months is plenty long enough to develop likes and dislikes, so here is a love/hate list Philadelphia style.

Love:

  1. SNOW!
  2. Reading Terminal Market & Amish goods 
  3. Cookie deliveries to my doorstep until 3AM.
  4. It’s just a short train ride away from NYC.
  5. Museums & art culture 
  6. The Kelly Writers House
  7. Ivy League campus (i.e. UPenn)
  8. UPenn students wearing shirts that say, “NOT PENN STATE”
  9. Beautiful architecture
  10. Standing out in my Berkeley sweatshirts

Hate:

  1. People are almost universally and unbelievably rude. No one says, “please” or “thank you,” ever, and if you say it, they will audibly scoff at you. Were these people reared by neanderthals‽
  2. The food sucks. Try getting a decent piece of sushi delivered to your doorstep in Philly. It’s just not going to happen. A salad here consists of limp iceberg lettuce, a chunk of tomato, a singular slice of green bell pepper, and, if you’re really lucky, a couple of cucumber slices. Plus, too many things are “dill pickle-flavored.” You know what should be dill pickle-flavored? Dill pickles, and that’s about it. 
  3. All the sandwiches are called “hoagies,” which is a word that makes me want to vomit, so you know I’m not eating sandwiches anymore. “Hoagie” sounds like something you cough up when you’re dying of the plague.
  4. The Indigenous Peoples (of the Northeast) think that all Californians are lazy, incompetent bums. As an interviewer said to me, “Out here we take things more seriously than you do in California.” Oh, ok, you fudging jackass. Don’t think I didn’t notice the egregious typos in the interview itinerary you gave me. Then a doctor asked me about my drug history, but before she let me answer her question, she said, “Well, you went to Berkeley, so…” So, what? I just gave her an indignant eyebrow raise.
  5. Everything out here has ridiculous, unpronounceable names like “Schuylkill” (skoo-kəl). I had an easier time learning to pronounce Russian. Oh, and some of the names are just stupid. There’s a store named “Wawa.” That’s what I called water before I could pronounce “agua.” 
Nevertheless, I’m still glad that I’m living here for a time. It’s a worthwhile experience.

Nostalgia for the Prime Primate

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Not so good:
I’m still unemployed. Apparently I’m not even “qualified” to be a dog handler. So insulting.
Noe’s breath smells like an untreated syphilis infection, and Sebastian somehow pooped all over himself.
No more refills on my birth control prescription and no health insurance. Eugh.
I really want to relive my childhood with a Super Nintendo and Donkey Kong Country and I can’t.
Diploma frames are $160.

Not so bad:
TheCanaryReview loved my post and asked me to be a regular contributor.
Every season of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix
Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Eggs
Shooting B.’s Nerf gun at the cats when they’re misbehaving (or when I want a good laugh).
B. whistling the Super Mario tune while he plays Portal.

F’ing MARVELOUS:
My diploma finally arrived! Three and a third months I waited, very impatiently, for this glorious piece of paper.

It’s even more beautiful in real life.